“Calm down, everyone. We can do that later.”
When god closes a door, he opens a window. That old saying
proved to be true in this instance.
The false rumors had drastically reduced the job offers
coming to the Holstein Girls.
But Kurumi, Aika, Amiko, Tooru, and the other employees
worked hard to turn that crisis into a new opportunity.
The office workers had gone around from morning to night
bowing down to different business contacts until their shoes were worn out.
Lastly is one is an entry in the Milk Series that I started working on at the start of the year because it was Year of the Cow, but it ended up falling by the wayside. I decided to finish it up now to get it out just barely in the relevant year.
Milk Idol: Sexy Titty Concert (ミルクアイドル イチャイチャにゅ～ライブ)
The time between the release of the tabloids and the beginning of their national tour went by in a flash.
Just as Junko had feared, people had used the baseless
rumors to bash the Holstein Girls more every single day. They lost offers on
commercials and photobooks and their number of TV appearances and live events
was drastically reduced.
Wherever they did go, the press hounded them, surrounding
them and aiming microphones their way.
“Those articles have no basis in fact. We apologize for the
confusion and for any worry this has brought our fans. Our office is responding
to the situation.”
Tooru wanted to blame the press for spreading the false
rumors, but he stopped himself when he saw the Holstein Girls politely bowing
every time the question came their way. He knew this had to pain them even more
than him.
So he, President Junko, and the rest of the employees
restrained their anger and poured all their energy into ensuring the Holstein
Girls’ first national tour was a success.
“Welcome to the Holstein Girls’ hot spring report♪”
Tooru remembered the show they had filmed the other day was
airing today, so he switched on his room’s TV.
He caught it just as Kurumi, Aika, and Amiko were cheerfully
announcing the segment title while doing their usual Cowtits Love Pose.
The TV guide described the show as “The popular cow idols
meet real cows in Hokkaido…and provide a sexy report on the local sites, foods,
and fun!”
The three girls who had swept the idol world with their hot
bodies barely contained in skimpy cow print costumes had been invited to a
variety show where they tried milking some cows themselves and introduced the
audience to some famous Hokkaido locations. It ended with them bathing in an
open-air hot spring in a blatant push for ratings.
They weren’t no-name idols anymore, so he felt like they
didn’t need to do things like this, but they refused to take their popularity
for granted and accepted any offers their schedule would allow.
“Sigh. I’m getting hungry, so maybe I should fix something.”
“Eh? We’re making a sexy photobook!?”
The Holstein Girls were finally getting their first national
tour. The three members were even busier than normal with their TV appearances
and magazine interviews, but they still had to keep up with their voice
training and dance lessons to prepare for their concerts.
That was when a new job offer arrived. They had only just
returned to the office after practicing the choreography for a new song when
Tooru relayed the news Junko had given him.
“Yes. A few publishers have made offers, so we are in
negotiations to decide on one.”
Kurumi, Aika, and Amiko were more than just idols. Their
sexy bodies and revealing cow print costumes were a key factor to their popularity.
“P-please calm down. This isn’t the time for that.”
The Holstein Girls were one of the most popular idol groups
at the moment, so Tooru’s workload had grown considerably since he had been
appointed their manager.
He had to manage their schedules, drive them to and from
jobs, greet the staff at each job location, and so much more. He appreciated
the constant stream of offers, especially because it meant he did not have to
work to find jobs for them.
What jobs he accepted had more to do with President Junko’s
opinion than his own. But even if he did not have the right to choose, he had
few complaints.
After all, he had been given a much more important job and
that was currently all he could think about.
“Eh? But it is time for it.”
“It really is. My boobs are so full of milk I can’t focus on
my work.”
“No, no, no! This part needs a 1-2, 1-2 rhythm!”
One of the agency building’s rooms had a mirror that covered
one entire wall. The Holstein Girls were wearing differently colored track
suits and receiving a dance lesson there.
They had done a magazine photoshoot that afternoon and immediately
moved on to learning their new song’s choreography. Their schedule had been
this busy for days on end, so it was enough to make Tooru dizzy.
“Once more from the top!”
“Of course!”
The dance trainer critiqued their performance and they did
not let their weariness show as they completed the lesson.
(Sigh…I can’t believe I did that.)
“Ready, set, go…we’re the Holstein Girls♪”
The three girls stood side by side as their cheerful voices
rang through the studio.
They squeezed their breasts between their upper arms and
positioned their hands to form hearts with their thumbs and forefingers. These
hearts were placed right in front of their impressive cleavages and their fans
called it the Cowtits Love Pose.
The Holstein Girls made no attempt to hide where much of
their appeal came from, so they always made the pose when introducing
themselves on stage. The horny audience here erupted into cheers.
“Whew, you girls sure are popular. …Now I can’t help but
notice how much those tops are straining. We aren’t going to have wardrobe
malfunction on our hands, are we?”
Their tits looked like they were ready to pop out of their
cow-print costumes, so the host made sure to joke about it and turn the
microphone in their direction.
“That’s not a problem at all since we’re wearing pasties.”
They were recording a variety talk show.
“Just try and resist our massive cowtits♪”
The TV displayed three girls singing and dancing in unison
on a stage lit up by a rainbow of lights.
They were the Holstein Girls, a popular idol group. As you
can likely imagine from the name, they were known for wearing cow print
costumes.
Furthermore, those flashy cow costumes were filled out by
attractively large breasts which were even referenced in the lyrics of their
song. They could sing and dance just as well as a traditional idol group, so
they had rapidly gained popularity online.
They had been the breakout hit of a new trend in the idol industry
of being more blatantly and openly sexualized, so they had garnered a lot of
attention and gained many passionate fans.
They were wildly popular, so they made frequent TV
appearances despite the lewd nature of their act.
(Sigh, they’re all so hot. And look at them jiggle.)
The second translation I have for you is the first novel that takes place in the same world as Lolimon Harem.
After Reincarnating, I Turned the Elf Palace into a Harem! (転生したらエルフの王宮をハーレムにデキました！)
One month later, a grand coronation ceremony was held in Finegard’s capital.
The king’s funeral was complete and the period of mourning
over, so the people celebrated their new ruler without any sorrow.
Traditionally, Finegard’s new monarchs were given their
crown by a priest in the Spirit Chapel. It acted as a sign that god had granted
them their power.
After the coronation, the monarch would ride a carriage down
the capital’s main street to reach the royal palace while the people cheered.
Their official duties would begin once they were inside the palace.
But on this day, the people witnessed an unprecedented
coronation.
This time, there were two new monarchs riding the
carriage to the palace.
One was Emilia Finegard, daughter of the previous king.
The other former Baron Kyle Vermilion, who had married her
shortly before the coronation.
“Claris, we need your recovery magic!”
“Right away.”
The rescue elf spoke up as soon as she entered the tent.
She sounded panicked, but the maid’s response was unnervingly
calm.
The green-haired maid standing in the center of the tent
shut her eyes and recited an incantation.
“Spirits, hear my call. My name is Claris, the one bound to
you by contract.
“Spirits, gather here and grant me your power. My name is
Claris, the one who wishes to seed her healing power.
“Spirits, Claris seeks your power, so please grant it!”
The nobles had gathered in a hall of Finegard’s royal palace.
This was not where the party had been held the other day. It
was smaller and with a plainer interior. Long ago, before this had become the
capital, the room had been used as a wartime strategy room.
The many nobles were seated around a long table.
A map with the capital in the center was laid out on the
table.
Princess Emilia, Royal Knight Rosetta, and Kyle sat at the
head of the table.
Kyle was here to relay the information he had received from
the dark elf prisoner named Lielle
The other nobles made no attempt to hide the suspicion and
envy in their gazes.
Kyle himself knew a lower noble like him had no business
being here.
But the princess herself had requested his presence and the
others had no room to complain when they had fled for their lives during the
dark elf attack the other day.
(This has turned into a big deal.)
“Princess Emilia!”
“I’m fine! I could hold off a blast like that in my sleep!”
Emilia waved her staff and answered Kyle’s call.
She had created a lightning barrier to block the fifth magic
attack. A powerful explosion erupted right next to the royal palace.
They were on the palace’s balcony.
Kyle, the maid named Claris, and the prime minister watched
as Emilia created a cage of lightning around the entire palace.
Fireballs rained down on the castle town, but she perfectly
defended against them all.
The dark elf surprise attack failed to even scratch
Finegard’s royal palace.
A day had passed since Kyle boosted her magic.
“I’m about to cum, Rosetta! Open your mouth wider and stick out your tongue.”
“Like this?♥”
“Yes, perfect. Ah, I-I’m cumming! Kh.”
“Yes, finally❤ Ahn❤
There’s so much of it❤ It’s all over my face❤ And my hair will get all sticky too❤ I’ll just have to swallow it instead❤ Ahm❤❤ Nh, nh, nh❤❤❤”
Kyle was standing with his back against the wall and Rosetta
was kneeling in front of him with his cock in her mouth.
She only released it after sucking out every last drop of
semen.
They were in a hallway of a detached section of the royal
palace given to Kyle.
Technically, he was only using one of its rooms, but since
the other rooms were vacant, it was effectively his house.
A few days had passed since they returned from the rescue
operation.
“Um, Rosetta?”
“Hmph.”
“Rosetta?”
“Hmph!”
It had been like this the entire way.
They were one day’s travel away from the royal capital.
Except for when they stopped for the night, Kyle had been stuck in the same carriage
as Rosetta, but they had not had an actual conversation the entire time.
He had already known this royal knight didn’t like him and
this just confirmed it.
A few days had passed since Princess Emilia’s lightning
magic repelled the dark elf army.
Kyle had indirectly saved the capital and the Finegard
Kingdom as a whole by restoring Emilia’s magic, so now he found himself riding
a carriage along a mountain road to rescue a certain fortress.
To discover how he ended up there, we must look back in time
a bit.
A party was held in the palace’s gorgeous great hall.
The celebration was for the king’s birthday, but the sickly
king had yet to make an appearance and the attending nobles were chatting
pleasantly with each other.
“…”
Among them, Kyle drank from his glass all alone by the wall.
A backwater noble like him did not know anyone here well
enough to strike up a conversation.
A look around showed no one else from such a simple
background or who was left all alone.
While all of the kingdom’s nobles had been invited, the
lesser ones had chosen not to attend to avoid exactly his predicament. He was
the only one clueless enough to show up anyway.
(This is really awkward.)
Oops, he thought when he was hit by the truck.
It was a dark and stormy night.
It was his own fault.
He had been in a rush to get home, so he ran out into the
intersection without checking for traffic.
(Welp, I’m dead now.)
The last thing he pictured in his mind was not his parents,
his friends, or his girlfriend. (Not that he had, or had ever had, a
girlfriend.)
It was the new porn game he had under his jacket to keep it
dry.
It was the long-awaited new title from his favorite developers.
It was titled “After Reincarnating, I Turned the Elf Palace
into a Harem!”
As the title suggested, it was about reincarnating as an elf
and winning over one heroine after another until you had a harem.
(Why did I have to die before I could play this?)
That was his very last thought before crashing down to the
ground and dying before he could even feel the pain.
Deer Natalia,
How are yoo doing? We are doing wel.
We hav yoo to thank for reeching Lihanera safely.
But we ran into truble with pirates and succubi!
Yoo can ask this girl for details.
She is Limly.
I swear I wil return for her, so pleese look after her
until then.
I look forward to seeing yoo agen.
-Naoki Okawa
Limly felt something cold dripping onto her arm.
It was starting to rain.
She had nowhere else to go in the port city’s back alleys
and wasn’t sure what to do, so she ended up curling up next to an empty barrel
left exposed to the elements.
Her wet clothing clung uncomfortably to her skin.
(I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.)
She repeated the same phrase as always in her mind.
But in a corner of her mind, she knew this wasn’t real.
She was dreaming. This was a memory.
So she knew who was about to appear from around the corner.
“You silly girl. What are you doing shivering out here after going to the trouble of escaping the ship?”
It was Almera.
My name is Oikawa Naoki.
I’m just a student who lives for nothing more than jerking
off.
I must have fapped to some really good shit tonight because
I’m having the best dream ever.
I’m living the harem life in this dream.
Girls with big brains and even bigger boobs keep showing up
and asking to have sex.
Then I cum inside them all, just like they want me to.
I couldn’t have come up with a better life if I tried.
Of course none of this could ever actually happen, but when
you’re dreaming you can ignore things don’t make sense or seem out of place.
Just now, my real thoughts are starting to reach the dream
as I start to wake up in the morning, so to my disappointment, it’s finally hit
me that this is just a wonderful illusion playing out in my head during the
night.
You know the feeling: “Oh, that was just a dream. Maybe I
should go back to sleep and stay there.”
The commercial city was busiest during the early morning.
That was thanks to all the merchants from nearby mountain
and fishing villages setting up mats along the roadside to hawk their wares.
They would sell out during the morning and head home in the afternoon.
You couldn’t truly claim to know Lihanera if you hadn’t seen
its morning market.
“I’ve gotta admit, this is impressive.”
Naoki had been surprised by how many people were in the city
during the day, but this was even more.
But given the early hour, they all seemed more relaxed.
The hawkers’ calls sounded almost gentle in the morning
mist.
They were mostly selling fresh foods from the mountains and
sea, so the smell had to be powerful indeed for a dog girl, yet Mila seemed
unaffected while walking alongside Naoki.
“Sorry for having you
join me, Mila.”
“I do not mind.”
“Wow! This city’s incredible!”
Naoki was brimming with excitement among the hustle and
bustle of all the shoppers and merchants on the street.
After a few days’ travel from Fus, they had arrived at their
destination: Lihanera.
He had expected a lot after hearing it was a commerce city,
but not this much!
The place was like a giant bazaar.
They had left their wagon at the city entrance and walked to
their inn, but the main road and the alleys were all lined with street stalls
and shops.
They were selling a wide variety of things and in great
quantity.
One store had colorful clothing hanging in it. Another had
piles of meat, fish, and spices in large baskets.
Street stalls sold delicious-looking skewered meat, fragrant
fried foods, and bright sugar sculptures. There were shops selling fruits,
jewelry, miscellaneous items, and even small animals like birds and monkeys. There
was nothing you couldn’t buy here.
Merchants called out to prospective customers, customers
loudly haggled over the price, and street performers added to the cacophony of
noise.
Time to squeeze in a triple update right at the end of the year.
First up is the next Tales of Harem.
Tales of Harem 3: A Servant Contract with Succubi and a Lover Contract with a Pirate (異世界ハーレム物語3 ～淫魔と隷属契約、女海賊と愛人契約～)
After completing her morning preparations and stepping outside for a break, Natalia was greeted by a pleasant breeze.
She breathed in deep to enjoy the smell of the mountain
foliage.
(The weather is especially nice today. It feels like a good
omen.)
Her heart leapt at that premonition.
She was also greeted by someone waiting out in front of the
inn.
But this was not an inn guest.
The village girl was scraping at the ground with a stick.
“Oh? What kind of game is that?”
When Natalia crouched next to her, the girl’s eyes lit up.
The poorly maintained wagon’s wheels creaked even on this flat road.
But once you were used to it, the familiar rhythm could help
you drift off to sleep.
After nodding off in the back, Naoki was woken by the sound
stopping.
“Why’d we stop? We taking a break?”
It seemed too soon for that.
They had stopped for lunch only about an hour ago.
“No, look at that,” answered the elf named Llusse.
She leaned forward into the driver’s area to point out at
the road ahead.
There was a campsite there
They were surrounded by an open field and this campsite was
just as empty. It was only identifiable as a campsite due to the wooden boxes
and other items scattered around the remnants of campfires.
“Looks like a caravan was camped here,” concluded Tianne,
the nun seated next to Naoki.
“We might find something useful, so let’s take a look
around, Hero.”
(I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it all.)
Limly curled up her small body in the darkness.
Shouting. Clashing metal. Explosions. Screams.
She covered her ears to keep all the disturbing noise from
reaching her down here.
She pressed her hands tight against them, as if blocking it
out would mean none of it was real.
(I can go back home if I do this.)
Back to the village. Back to that forest.